What the Hell am I Doing
by Hoosier65
Summary: Deeks tries to figure out if and how to propose
1. Chapter 1

**Ok Adriana, this is for u triggered by 'the discussion' thoughts in italics. This is more of a 'what are they thinking piece and relates back to 3** **rd** **Heart and Deeks worries about 'Max'**

Deeks was sure he was in agony. After the 'proposal discussion' he had been quiet all the way home. "Fern, I'm gonna take a walk on the beach. Some things aren't setting right and I need to think. Back in 45-ok?" Then he was gone.

Kensi was on the couch and just sat there stunned. _Is this due to the baby/proposal/marriage discussion? Oh my God was he not ready? Did I scare him away-did I ruin it? He's the one for me forever. He knows that, what is his concern?_

Deeks was walking on the beach and by now was in full sweat _does she remember when I flipped on having kids? It was after Angelo and that whole 3_ _rd_ _heart thing. Mentoring is kinda me testing the water but my 3_ _rd_ _heart is Max. The man that beats his wife and kid. Is that where I'm headed. I can't marry her if she wants kids and I don't. That will split us up in a New York minute._ After walking, sitting and staring at the water and feeling like the world was falling on him-cause it was. Life without Kensi isn't something he wanted to even consider but here he was considering it. _Do I bolt and go back to LAPD and just end it or do I come up with something else. Who do I talk to-do I tell her? NO! I gotta resolve this before I saying anything to her or see gets wind of it or figures it out. Gonna take her about 2 days and then I'm toast. Hetty, Granger, the wonder twins, G, Sam-who? Thappa would be great but he's gone. And then all Thappa's words came back. "Home is in the smile of my wife, the laughter of my children." Kensi's smile had almost brought him to tears that night. Nope, it's gotta be Sam, he and Thappa are so much alike. He'll understand._ Having resolved the issue- -in his mind anyway- -he headed home. "I'm back princess."

"Deeks, what's wrong? That's not like you. You talk almost everything out with me but you never go off and try to deal with something yourself. Spill it buster." At that point she wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head against his chest, hearing his heart going a mile a minute. She knew this was a biggie. That narrowed down the field to proposal-marriage-kids.

"Thinking about what you said about a bigger place. One that's ours. Both names on the title, the whole bit. Kinda big step that I hadn't thought about. I was busy thinking about flipping houses, making money and giving you things. I think part of that is a reaction to mom having little or nothing for so long. I wasn't sure you really meant what you said when we talked about it.

2 DAYS LATER

"Mr. Deeks, you partner with Sam. Since the culprits split up as they entered Angeles National Forest I want them tracked down and brought to justice. Now go" and Hetty turned to leave the room.

"Uh, Hetty, why um well"

"Mr. Deeks, your partner and Sam are our 2 best trackers, it makes sense to split you up this way. There are no ulterior motives Detective Deeks" and as she turned and walked out of the room she threw back over her shoulder "this time" and walked out with a huge grin!

Looking at each other Kensi could see the absolute surprise on Deeks face. This was not his doing to spend time with Sam for any reason. _Ok then, let's get these guys_ and she walked out with G after that last quick thought.

They had almost an hours drive as Deeks spoke "Sam I need to ask you something but first you need some background." Deeks went on to talk about his childhood, his dad, mom and especially Max. Then he told him about the discussion in the tunnel. Finally he asked "So what do I do? What's your opinion and give it to me straight. I'm scared and don't want to do the wrong thing but I need help here."

After almost 5 minutes Sam finally took a deep breath and offered "Deeks, you and Kensi are made for each other. The past each of you have. The crap you have overcome. And you never show anger. You work so hard at it and now I know why. I have been waiting for this conversation. I told Kensi once that I wasn't happy about the 2 of you together, but no way I wanted to lose either of you. That still goes. You have proven your ability to put your relationship aside. G and I are both happy about the 2 of you being together. Marriage won't change that and it won't change how we feel. As far as kids, being a father is great. There is no way, place, or situation on this earth that would eve make you harm an innocent kid-or Kensi for that matter. Besides think of the consequences if you raised a hand to either one! You are amazing with kids. Better than me and Kensi, despite how she acts has proven she can do it. Not only do you have my permission and that of G's to go for it we would both be disappointed if you didn't. We have discussed this so this is not a knee jerk reaction. I can't speak for Granger but I'm also pretty sure the rest of OPS is behind you also. That tell ya what ya need?" Deeks was stunned. Sam went on "look I meant what I said to you after Siderov and I did some digging about your time as a Public Defender and I spent some time with Bates. You were a hell of a lawyer and undercover cop. That you made it thru college, law school and then excelled at both is amazing given everything. That you came out of all that the man you are may be the 8th wonder of the world. I would talk to Hetty to be sure she is ok and please-damn it-become an agent. No more double reports, extra meetings and letting Kensi and us worry about you getting called back for something."

"Wow, a well, just wow. Guess I better start putting together a plan. Gonna need some help setting up what I think I need to do but got a list of people to talk to first. Starting with Hetty. Thank you Sam, I ever expected all this from you. I figured a grudging ok or even silence so just wow, ya, thanks again." Deeks leaned back in the car, closed his eyes and smiled. At ease for the first time in days. _Ok Hetty is first, then Julia, mom I can call. Then there's Granger. That could be tough as he's a friend of Don. Throw in the wonder twins and the app. for agent status. What about Director Vance. Guess that's a question for Hetty. Wow lot to do and then the ring. Gotta be understated but amazing. Based on the discussion after here week of luxury a big gaudy ring will turn her off. Damn, wonder if Monty can help with some of this!_ Then he chuckled quietly and smiled as Sam looked at him and smiled like he knew what he was thinking. He probably did.

 **That's the first part. We take a peek at Deeks getting permission and then we get the proposal-if everyone goes along. What say-wanta see the rest. It's almost done just need to know if it's worth finishing and posting. Whole thing is 2-3 chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next set of visits-expect this to take 4 or 5 chapters to resolution.**

The next morning Kensi was in the armory and the rest of them were in the bullpen discussing various subjects from the Clippers to Kip to fatherhood. Deeks looked at Sam and G and offered "ok, gonna talk to Hetty. Sam, can you fill G in? Anything I said is fair game. Let me know if he doesn't feel the same way. This is step one on a long journey." As Deeks stood up he did the only thing that told you he was nervous, he let out every bit of air in his lungs as he headed towards Hetty's office. "Hetty, I need to talk to you do you have a few minutes?"

She motioned him to set down and said, "it's a quiet day so far so we have all the time in the world Mr. Deeks, what's up?"

"I need advice, approval, rejection- -whatever you choose to offer." This got her attention. After a moment, she smiled and nodded. Deeks took this as the go ahead. Another deep breath and he launched into an explanation of what had happened in the tunnel, his talk with Sam and his fears, what he was thinking and what he wanted to do. Much like Sam, Hetty was silent for several minutes, she did however, hold up 1 finger giving him the 'wait one' sign. Finally she spoke.

"This is not unexpected but it is welcome. I chose you because you fit in perfectly with the team and even better with Ms. Blye. You have proven your worth to this agency, this team and to me. More importantly the 2 of you have proven that you can 'keep it out of the office' so to speak. I don't count the little episode after the 'Unlocked Mind' case as that was to be expected and it was the boat shed with only me watching. Even if you were just partners that could have happened. I understand the banter and goofing around when the team is here. That doesn't worry me. You can sing love songs to her for all I care. When you are on a case or in the presence of others outside this office is when I expect a professional attitude. Understood?" Getting a nod she went on "just to clarify anything you might wonder about-there are 7 people I want to have my back or be by my side when it hits the fan detective. 5 of them work in this office everyday as a team and the 7th one is Tuhon. Go in peace Marty knowing that you have my blessing."

Deeks was beyond stunned. He sat there for a few minutes and just as he started to leave, he went on saying "what about Director Vance. Do I need to talk to him?"

"Let's find out what he thinks. He's waiting on a video call." Deeks looked amazed for a second and then remembered this was Hetty. She knows how the end will come (remember her comment in Spiral), why wouldn't see know what he was thinking. They walked upstairs and Hetty announced "Eric connect me with Director Vance and then clear the room. He is expecting this video conference." After connecting and clearing the room Hetty hit the SKIF mode and sealed the room as the director came on.

"So Hetty, is it as we expected? Getting a nod he went on "ok Detective Deeks, unless you are here to tell me you quit, you don't need to say anything. Just listen as this is the 'pronouncement' of this agency if you will. I will approve of your wedding to agent Blye on 1 condition. Get the damn papers signed to be an agent so I can protect you from anyone who tries to mess with this team. Is that clear?" Deeks jaw dropped. He wasn't even sure the director had a clue who he was let alone having this strong a position. "Yes Marty, Hetty warned me she thought this was coming so I did some serious homework on one Martin A. Deeks. Anyone who wouldn't want that person as an agent under any conditions should be shot. I lost one agent and almost a second one because they were afraid to be happy together and I lost my wife to this job. I refuse to be the reason 2 people don't join as one. The only rule is keep it out of the office. Do that and we're golden. I'm sure Hetty will make that and any other rules she may have abundantly clear. As for me, I will be there to present you your agent's credentials. Something I have never done before but you are someone who deserves to know you are worth the effort on our part to make you welcome. You have already earned your stripes so FLETC will consist of the book learning part only. That will be scheduled and monitored by Hetty at your current location. Any questions?"

Deeks was still dumbfounded. He stood there and shook his head. Hetty began laughing and offered "Director Vance you have done the impossible. This is the first time I have ever seen our detective speechless." That caused a chuckle and brought Deeks out of his trance. Down in the bull pen G, Sam and the wonder twins were hi 5ing. Unknown to Hetty, Nell had placed a listening device under her work station. The 4 of them were on their comm's and listened to the whole thing as they too knew what was up.

After thanking the director, Deeks and Hetty were talking as they left OPS. Hetty held up her fingers and said over her shoulder "you may come back to the OPS center now Eric and Nell. The 4 people in the bull pen froze as Hetty and then Deeks started chuckling.

Deeks resumed "anyway so that's the plan Hetty. I need your help to make it work and one last favor- -can you talk to Bates? I will fill the others in as I talk to them or do they already know given what I've run into so far?"

"With pleasure Mr. Deeks. I have wanted to do this for years. As for knowing-your relationship is not a secret, everyone is rooting for you and Kensi for different reasons. Mostly we all know what it took to get to this point for both of you and that you now need some happiness or marriage which ever you choose." Then she showed her evil smile.

As Deeks headed back to the bull pen he reviewed his list. Granger was next but he had to call his mom as that was an easy one. He explained everything to her and ended with "tell me now if you have a problem mom. This is a big deal for me and you know it."

"Easy Martin, I couldn't be happier and I will do my part when the call comes. Good luck. I promise she won't say no, that girl belongs with you and she knows it." That statement puzzled Deeks as he headed for Grangers 'inner sanctum' as it was called. No one ventured there without a summons from the man. Barb sat back, smiling and thought _Kensi has done it. He chased her till she caught him. He didn't stand a chance. He just doesn't know it yet. Bettin' she's already workin' on the havin' kids part. Not sure when or why he changed. As good as he is with kids he deserves some. Surely his dad is haunting him all these years later and after all he's done._

"Yea what" came from inside the door. Granger had a secretary but she didn't 'announce' people. She handled his correspondence, reservations, suffered his wrath and nothing more.

"Granger, it's Deeks I need to talk, got a few minutes?" Leaning back and put both hands behind his head Granger simply smiled. He knew this day was coming but he still wasn't sure how to deal with it. Even though Hetty told him it was cleared with Vance. _Ok let's just hear what he has to say and more importantly how he says it and then go from there. I am damn well gonna be sure. This is Kensi after all and I did promise Don I would watch over her. Someday I really have to tell her about her dad and some of his missions. Oh well. Let's do this._

"Enter."

 **Ok, Mr. Meanie obviously in a bad mood. How will this go? Still want more?**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the 3** **rd** **attempt to post chapter 3. No idea what the heck is going on. But will keep trying. This one is a little longer to make up for the aggravation!**

As Deeks walked in, Granger leaned back in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head and thought _pretty sure I know what this is. He's gonna have to convince me. I promised Don I would watch out for her if something ever happened. Someday I have to fess up about that and tell her more about her dad as a marine. Oh well, I know Hetty and Vance are on board and he is good but this is Kensi._ "What the hell do you want Deeks I'm busy?"

Deeks was sweating bullets. This one he dreaded. He expected Granger to be a jerk just cause he could. He then let out what was becoming an all too often happening of a long slow exhale of a deep breath. Deeks then looked at Granger who was still leaning back with hands clasped and a perfectly clean desk and smirked. He then went on in a very tentative voice. "Yea, a well ok I just need to talk to you about something. I am asking certain people this same question and so far all is going well. I am thinking about asking Kensi to-a-well marry me and I want your permission. I know you were close to her dad and I'm bettin someplace in the mix you-a-well feel like she might be kinda your responsibility to this day." A brief smile appeared and left as quickly on Grangers face. It didn't go unnoticed by Deeks who thought _hah-nailed it. He does have a vested interest. That helps._ Going on "so I wanted to ask your permission also." He recapped what had happened so far (except for Sam, Granger was aware of it all but didn't let on) but I want everyone on board. We talk about family and we have to act like one so that means getting everyone involved." Deeks then recapped his ideas for the proposal (he still hadn't talked to Kip- _damn it he needs to remember that and the wonder twins)_ and went on to talk about some of the details of his life growing up and the reversal by both of them on kids. "I'm trying to adjust on the fly so to speak but the kids thing threw me. As I said the fear of being like my dad but at the same time, Kensi isn't my mom. She would beat me to a pulp if I hit her or our kid. I know that but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try. That's the crux of the matter I'm tryin' to deal with."

Granger continued to lean back, but a smile came across his face as he rocked forward and said "yea you're right, she would whip your ass bad. Personally I don't think you ever would do such a thing. You would have lost your temper by now and I have never seen that no matter how much pressure you have been under. Early on here when you were still trying to fit in would have broken most men but you made it thru and survived Siderov. You and she share a lot of similarities. You are nothing like Don, but you know that. He and Sam are 2 peas in a pod. But one thing is obvious. You love her and she loves you. Don's desire for his daughter would be that she finds someone who makes her happy and takes care of her. That isn't even a worry in this case. I planned on giving you a load of crap but once you laid it all out it was clear that you had thought about this carefully. If she is crazy enough to say yes, then I'm crazy enough to let you ask her but in the end it's her decision. However, if you ever do hurt her they will never find your body." Then he stared at Deeks. _Couldn't come across as a total softie._ The smirk was back but he also added, under his breath and almost as an afterthought "but Donnie would like you cause he would see the good in you and the love in her eyes. " _Damn, did I just say that out loud? Crap."_

Deeks smiled quickly and as he got up to leave he offered, in a quiet voice "I will take care of her Granger, you can count on it." He then walked out and called Kip, quickly explaining what was happening and what he wanted.

After a discussion Deeks said, "remember that group you said you were buddies with? One of their songs would be perfect-any chance they might help with this? (listening) Yea, you guessed it, that's the song. You will, hope the cost isn't- -what oh, man I can't ask you to do that. You sure? Ok well thanks man I owe ya."

"Nope, I finally get to pay you back Marty-Mar. You're the one that pushed me to work at hoops and now I'm set for life. Least I can do is help my bud propose. Call it an engagement present."

"Thanks again. Good luck in the playoffs." After hanging up Deeks just smiled and shook his head. _Man the stars are aligning-maybe this is gonna work after all. Ok Deeks-next up, the wonder twins just to be sure they are on board._

All was quiet as he walked into OPS. Eric and Nell looked up and both of em grinned when they saw who it was. "What up Bro" came from Eric as Deeks took a position behind the center console.

Deeks smiled, leaned his elbows on the console and spoke "obviously you heard the discussion with the Director but I am asking all family members if they have a problem and give em a chance to have their say and wouldn't feel right leaving you out. Take your best shot." And he looked at both of them.

Eric spoke first saying simply "not a chance she says no man, congrat's you guys are a great couple."

"I agree" added Nell and I can help you with the rings if you want. I have a cousin who designs jewelry and is really good. I'm sure he'll do a good job and I can get you a great price or he gets audited yearly for the next 10 years." That caused everyone to smile.

"Yea, a wow, ok, I hadn't gotten that far but that's great. What do you need from me?"

"He works by getting to know the client thru others eyes. I can tell him a lot about her but he'll want details from you. I'll check with him and get you an email shortly. Then I'll go see him armed with that. He should have drawings about a week later. That's when you and I both go see him. Oh, do you know her ring size?"

"Actually I do, she's a 5." Nell wrote that down and then Deeks went on to explain what he planned. He ended it by asking Nell if she would co-ordinate everything since Kensi would figure it out if he made all the calls and running around. She jumped for joy and thanked him for letting her do it. He then ran thru everyone that would be involved. Closing it by saying "I'll take care of Monty and my little brother." That got a smile from her. _At that time the light bulb when on. Where do I do this? She expects the beach and sunset but we could do it at the MMA gym where we met or a couple other places. Gotta work on that one also._ I'll let ya know where when I figure it out Nell. Oh and check into getting one of those fancy buses, I don't want anyone-insert Granger here-drinking to the point of getting a DWI or DUI. I can swing that much." Both wonder twins smiled at that and as he walked out his mind was running a mile a minute thinking of all the things involved it pulling this off and knowing he did the right thing in asking Nell. That means Eric will also be heavily involved and those 2 can move mountains with a spoon if they have to. They have done it many times to help save the team.

Getting back to his desk, the 3 agents all eyed him. G spoke first "where you been all this time?"

Since Kensi was back he had to do a little dancin'. "Got called up to OPS. One of my CI's from LAPD was causing some issues and Eric found some camera footage of what really happened. Talked to Bates and the Chief of D's and got it worked out." Everyone went back to their paperwork and Deeks quietly relaxed. Another bullet dodged. He had also decided that he was gonna talk with Kensi that night about the kids thing from his perspective. If she saw what the rest of them seemed to he felt like he had to believe them and that helped clear the way to what he was working on.

That evening, while stretched out on the couch watching her eat her evening Rocky Road he cleared his throat and offered "we need to talk about something." He explained his reaction to the baby comment but then he went on and told her why-his dad, Max etc. Then he added "it has been bugging me. This mentor thing was a way to 'test the waters' but the more I thought about it the more I realized I was wrong. I have never shown signs of dad's temper except as Max and that was intentional. All the tough spots we've been in and I've never gone into a rage-even when you and I were 'fencing' so to speak it never crossed my mind to explode on you. And finally, you would kick my ass across 3 states and the Rockies if I ever tried to. Given all that, when the time is right I'm all in with kids, if that is still what you want at that time." The look on his face told her more than what he said. It told her he had truly worried about this and that this conclusion was something that was important and based in thought, not a whim or fear of losing her or any of the 10 or so other things she had worried about. _Maybe this is the reason for his actions. I thought it might be the marriage thing. Well he had to decide this first given what I said. He's about ready to reel in_ and then she silently chuckled.

Putting the ice cream down she curled up under his arm and offered "I always knew that. You don't have the capacity to hurt someone that hasn't done anything to anyone. Never in a million years. And for the record, I would never fall in love with someone that I thought might hurt me or our child. I'm glad you finally realized it. I really hate your dad for beating you and your mom but even more because he gave you a good dose of insecurity or even an inferiority complex. But that is something we can fix. You just need to start listening to those around you. You are an equal part of the OSP team and respected by all in that building-yes I'm bettin' even Granger. You know damn well how I feel about you. Your mom is amazed at how you've turned out and my mom said she wishes she had met someone like you after she left dad." That caused his eyebrows to pop up in a look of amazement. _Well, that confirms it. Everyone has said the same thing, maybe I am a decent guy. Damn, gotta work on that part. Man is she gonna drop when I get my cred's from Vance._

"I have no clue what I'd be without you princess. You're the reason I can deal with all of this." He planted a tender kiss on her forehead. She smiled, stood up, took his hand and pulled him towards their bedroom, grinning like a Cheshire cat all the way.

 **Ok, let me know if you got the real chapter 3 and how ya liked it. I won't be doing a detailed description of the ring as I know very little about em. Chapter 4 is almost done. Oh and Julia is next and no she won't hit on him. lol**


	4. Chapter 4

**Almost done getting oks and then we gotta see what our boy cooks up. nherbie set the bar hi. Gotta not just repeat hers but you need to read Cotillion sequel #2- -Only Deeks-this is the first part of seeing Julia.**

The team spent the day in the bull pen and cleared paperwork and/or did some work on their ongoing cases that weren't ready for the entire team to work on. What Kensi didn't know is that Deeks sent Nell a detailed email regarding the things he thought the jeweler wanted to know. About 3:00 pm Deeks cell rang. "Go for Deeks. Yea. Ok, really, come on, really why me. (pause) Yes sir. Will do sir. On my way." Hanging up the phone he went on "wow, Bates is on his horse. I gotta go down and play Q & A with a bunch of rookie undercover cops Kens. He said I'd be done by 6 so see you at the ranch. I'll bring Yummy Yummy with me, that ok?" Getting a nod and a smile she went back to her paperwork, not noticing the breath Deeks slowly released as Sam and G just smiled. What she didn't know was he had also texted Julia and arranged to stop by later. He was going over everything and figured timing-week to get drawings, week to make the ring, week of 'just in case' so he gave it 3 weeks.

As soon as he was out of earshot he called Julia. When she answered he spoke "Julia, this is Marty. I can be there in about 20 does that still work for you? (pause) Ok, great see you in a few." Then he called Nell and said "Ok let's call it 3 weeks and 2 days, set it up and plan for Friday the 15th. Remember the temporary stage, they'll bring their own sound stuff unless I tell you different or u hear from Kip." Getting a cheery 'you got it' he said 'thanks. Headed to Julia's now." Shortly after hanging up he got a text 'good luck' from Eric

Nell left shortly after Deeks thru the side door so Kensi didn't spot her. Armed with Deeks email and her knowledge she went to see the jeweler. After giving him her thoughts on Kensi he handed him Deeks email. Scanning it he said 'Wow, this is gonna be a challenge. Lotta parts that disagree so to speak-elegant but grounded, lacy but not fancy for example. Picking excerpts from the email."

"Maybe so but he nailed her. You know what I do so suffice it to say these two are on the front lines of that. There's, by nature and definition is not a normal relationship. They spend all day together. They have had ups, downs and everything in between so let's go over it all and I'll try to clarify for you.

After almost 2 hours he leaned back and shook his head. "So she is capable of dressing up and hobnobbing with the jet set but prefers jeans and T's as long as Marty's there, hence the elegant but grounded. She is tough but at home she has stuffed animals and reads modern bride so the lacy side. Smart beautiful-the picture of her tells me that and those mismatched eyes are mesmerizing. Capable of literally whipping most men but prefers rocky road and Deeks on the couch with her. He is one lucky man." All this from the jeweler as he began scribbling in earnest. Then he added. I'll have sketches and notes in a week. Then a week max to create the final product. I'll text you and then you can bring him in. Oh, one final question-nicknames-sometimes they help."

Chuckling, Nell responded "Fern, Kens, Kensilina, Ladybird, and Princess and the most frequent but there is a list."

An eyebrow was raised and he thought he had the perfect idea, if he could just pull it off without it being past elegant.

"Oh and I assume this note on the bottom is the top end of his price range?"

"Yep he said anything past that and he hoped you would take a kidney in kind or carry the balance."

"That's rich-great sense of humor also-if a little strange."

"That's our boy-she gets him even when the rest of us are scratching our heads. They were just meant to be." With that Nell looked at her watch. She had been there almost 5 hours and it was pushing 8 pm. Eric would be pacing she thought. Then she smiled and also thought _he needs to learn to be more flexible anyway._ She then texted Deeks with what the jeweler had said and got back a thumbs up emoticon.

BACK 5 HOURS TO DEEKS LEAVING

Deeks arrived at Julia's and took a deep breath and let it out very slowly then mused that is happening way too often lately. When he got to the door and knocked Julia answered right away. Opening the door she said "come on in Marty- - -my goodness you look scared to death. Beer or something stronger? This must be serious-Kensi is ok isn't she?" (Kensi had given her mom the basics of their job, but not a lot of detail)

Deeks chuckled and grinned as he relaxed for some reason. This just felt good, like a second home even though he hadn't been here that much. Like her girls friends, she tended to keep her mom and Deeks separate. "Beer please, only if you join me and she is better than good, see remains amazing." She smiled again and relaxed thinking _oh boy, only 1 thing would make him this nervous. Kensi says he never rattles under pressure but he is clearly way past nervous._

"I've always felt serious discussions should be held in the kitchen, come on let's relax and then you can tell me what has you wound up." After they had settle on a couple stools and Deeks had a couple swallows he began.

"Well, a, yea, ok no, yea it's like this." He was interrupted by a huge grin and laugh from Julia. "What" he stammered.

"One of the few things Kensi told me about you-she is as tight lipped about you and her as she is about her friends with you by the way-is that you are solid as a rock under pressure that would break all but a very few men and that your whole life is a testament to that fact. So that means one of 2 thing my permission to marry her or how to dump her."

 **OhBuddys plot bunnies made me stop here so send all nasty notes to him!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So there is the 'biggie'- -her mom. What will she say and more importantly what might she offer him?**

That last part caused Deeks to choke on his beer. "Oh God no Julia, there is no way I live the rest of my life without her. Yes I want to marry her and would like your permission but I am also wrestling with a problem- -." An hour later he finished. He explained about the reversal of wanting kids, the concerns about being enough for her, all of it."

Julia went to the fridge and got them both another beer before saying. "Ok, before I make this permission official I have a request." Getting a puzzled look she went on I will do my best to answer the questions you just posed but first- -you tell me the whole story. Your life history up to now. As background I know you're a cop and that makes Kensi some kind of law enforcement person but I got a feeling she's not a cop but a fed. Explain how your work with her and then tell me your story- - -ALL of it."

After several minutes of thought, he looked at Julia and realized she needed the measure of the man her 'little girl' was gonna marry. Probably being measured against Don and nothing but the truth would satisfy her. "Ok, (pause to sigh again) but understand, I won't go into detail about our time together. That I would need Kensi's ok for. Maybe someday we set down and tell all, but for now you get my story, including my time at NCIS. If that's ok then I'm ready. She is important enough that I will give you chapter and verse, even some of the 'classified' stuff." For the next 2 hours Deeks talked. He started with how they got partnered up and then gave her chapter and verse of his life-growing up-shooting Gordon-college-law school-public defender-cop and finally liaison to NCIS and what it was, meant and did. Then he hit the hi and low points of his career since then. He left nothing out including the kiss, Siderov and going to Afghanistan. He did leave out that it was Kensi they went to get substituting 'someone who was a very highly placed person' and after he finished he finally looked up. He had done the whole thing while looking at his hands folded on the table. "There you are Julia-the unvarnished truth about the man who wants to marry your little girl. I'm not the squared away person her dad was and I can be OCD as hell and I drive her crazy with little things but I promise you I will protect her with my life and love her for as long as she'll have me. The only way I leave her is by her request or- - -."

Julia sat there staring for a few minutes just staring at him. He could see the moistness in her eyes but was afraid of what that meant. His fears were confirmed, he thought, when she let out a long sigh and looked down at her hands.

"This is gonna take a minute-more beer please" and as he set one in front of her, she began. "Most important things first-and to get you off the hook-yes you may marry my daughter and she is damn lucky to have you. I knew that before you told me all. Just listening to her gave me a measure of you. I wanted the unedited version to be sure. Mothers worry about such things. Now on to the real question. I know she hasn't wanted kids but wasn't aware that she had changed her mind recently. I just got back from a trip and we haven't talked much since I've been back. To the real question-do you trust Kensi's judgement?"

"In most things ok course. Her taste in music-that techno stuff-no so much." They both chuckled and Julia nodded her head in agreement. As Julia began to talk Deeks texted Kensi _runnin_ ' _late Bates keeps pushin' em to ask more questions. Figure 6:30-6:45 love ya._ Almost immediately came _k-love u 2_

"Ok then detective, haven't you answered your own question. If you trust her judgement why are you worried? After Jack, do you really thing she would get involved with just anyone? She guards her heart closely. She would be sure you were ok-not looney so to speak before even getting involved. Besides I'm guessing, knowing her and what you've told me-she just might be able to kick your butt if you even tried to lift a hand to her or your children. Am I right?"

Marty nodded and after a minute he almost whispered, "wow, everyone seems to have this figured out. Everyone was expecting me to ask and everyone has given me the thumbs up. Why the hell am I struggling with sorting it out or at least believing it will work out? I've been doing a lotta thinkin' about things during this process and realize 2 things-first what you said-Kensi has great instincts and she is open and honest as the day is long with me and 2-my dear ole dad gave me a bigger inferiority complex than I thought. I need to do some more work on that one. Anyway I gotta get goin' soon but here's the quick version of what I'm planning" and then he went thru the plans so far. "Would you like to go with when I look at the ring drawings? Nell will be there so you can meet her?"

"Are you sure you want that Marty? What about your mom? What if we can't agree?"

Chuckling Deeks went on "never thought of all that. Ya, mom should be there-we're gonna be a family and I think it should start now. Besides what I know about rings and diamonds would fit on a pin head and still leave room for the constitution." Getting a smile at that he went on "I'll text ya with where and when and I will call mom also. It will be about a week before the drawings are ready."

"I'll be waiting and Marty-thank you for asking. It was something you didn't have to do but it is appreciated. It goes along with the other thing she shared about you. In the end you always do the right thing and you worry about everyone's feelings but yours. But to answer your last question-why are you struggling with this and not able to work it out. Don't over think the inferiority thing it could be as simple as you want this so bad you're trying to be sure everything is perfect and it never is. You and Kensi will never be on the same page completely. It sounds more like you and her need to lay out some kind of general life plan. Not by date but general goals that you can achieve and move forward. That make sense. "

That got a smile and then as he got up he offered "I would love to talk to you for another couple hours but if I don't leave now, I'll have to hurry and I've had too many beers for that. If I'm much later she may call Bates and grill him. Then the cat's out of the bag. Oh- - -and what you just said may be the most logical thing I've heard or thought of as to how to deal with this. I will give that real careful thought. Thank you for the insight."

As they reached the door, Julia pulled him into a hug and kissed his check then whispered "Donnie would have been proud of the man my daughter fell in love with- -never doubt that AND never forget it. Now go take care of things. It sounds like everyone is convinced you 2 belong together. Don't fight it just make it work."

On the way he called his mom about the ring and she was thrilled. Besides she said she and Julia got along great at Sam's and she wanted to spend more time with her. "I think I'll see if she wants to get dinner and/or a drink after and we can talk about the 2 of you. Text me where and when."

"Will do mom. And then he began thinking very seriously about what Julia had said.

 **And there you have now we have rings, parties and proposals to put together. You still there everyone?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Time to make progress on the main issue. Adriana are you still with us?** **lol**

Even as he thought about what Julia said he responded to his mom's comment about dinner and/or a drink saying "Oh great. Be nice mom!" Secretly he was happy for what Barb said. He and Kensi had wondered how they got along and neither mom would speak of it. Finally getting home with dinner (he remembered at the last minute) he yelled out "princess I'm here. Dinner is served. As they were eating, and talking about the day at LAPD he blurted out "what kind of music do you listen to when you aren't blaring techno? I know you have other tastes but I never hear them."

Giggling she offered "you're gonna think this is silly."

"Nope, remember I was in a band and we played sets from the 50's & 60's, the 70's and then current stuff. Even a few original numbers written by our drummer."

"You sure?" Getting a nod and smile she went on "the Beach Boys and a little Jan and Dean. Daddy loved 50's and 60's music especially Beach boys and I got hooked. I always kidded him that our dad-daughter dance at my wedding would be to 'Help Me Rhonda' my all-time favorite. Why are you asking?"

"Never would have thought it. We used to have a lotta requests for their stuff when I played. As to why, just trying to find common ground for us on long trips or boring stakeouts." _Nailed it, hah!_

1 WEEK LATER

Deeks got a text saying 'drawings ready-Hetty Ok'd us leaving. Let Julia and Barb know-45 minutes s/NJ.

Everyone arrived at the appointed place and time. Hetty had announced to the group that Mr. Deeks was handling something for her but, looking at Kensi added that he would be home on time. Kensi smiled and nodded. Deeks hoped she wasn't curious. When he got there, Barb and Julia were already talking up a storm of to the side and informed Marty they were going to dinner together when they were done here. Before Deeks introduced Nell, he got the strange feeling his mom and Julia were cooking up something. As he finished the introductions, Nell's cousin (Mike Jefferies) came in and said "good afternoon." Nell made introductions and then Mike pulled out the drawings and laid them on a table for all to look at. He let them talk and ask questions as they looked at each. Deeks saw the one he liked but had some questions. "This one here, each of the rings have pieces of engraving on the inside. What do they signify?" Smiling, jeweler reached for another drawing and laid it out.

"When you put the rings together they form the shape of a fern on the inside and the words 'today, tomorrow' are on one band and on the other are the words 'and the next'. This made Deeks smile as he looked at Nell and nodded. She had found audio and video of that day on the ice. Going on, when the 2 rings are fitted together they loosely resemble a crown, especially if you are looking for it. The small dark stone is to signify something that struck me the second I looked at Kensi's picture." All of them just smiled knowing exactly what it meant.

Deeks announced that this was the ring he preferred but was afraid it might be pushing too fancy for her. Nell's cousin just smiled as he was sure that would be the one. The first of the women to respond was Barb. "I think it is beautiful. I don't know Kensi as well as the rest of you but I can't imagine her not loving it. It appears to be essentially simple in design but when you know the background it becomes an amazing piece of jewelry and I don't see anything that is too much. Remember she is also beautiful so the ring should reflect that also."

Nell nodded and said "I agree. That ring is something that Kensi will adore. She will understand everything it means and pushes it past everything to 'special' something every woman wants in her engagement ring."

Deeks then asked "can you put the date of engagement on the engagement ring and the wedding date on the other one when we have them? Oh- - -and also she prefers white gold to silver. Is that a problem for the bands?" Getting a nod of agreement to both questions and a smile he added "great." Marty gave him the date of the 'planned engagement' and went on to say I will call you by Wednesday if a change of date is necessary so save that till the end." Getting a smile and a nod he replied "thanks."

Julia then offered "it is amazing. You have captured the essence of them. I see ups and downs and struggles but all the while when put together they fit perfectly and the ring does become truly special because the 2 pieces fit together perfectly, just like them."

That did it for Deeks who, as he tried not to blush and lost the battle, said "the last question is cost. I get a feeling this might be an issue."

"Stop right there Martin" barked his mom. "Julia and I have already decided something that we can give you for an engagement gift that will eliminate that issue."

"That's right" Julia added then went on "I will give you my old engagement ring from Donnie (she still wore the other one on her right hand). As close as she was to her dad, that will be something important to Kensi."

"And, about the only decent thing the bastard gave me was a nice ring so I will add mine to the mix-thus the joining of 2 families into one. Use any stones you want in the ring and anything else plus the bands can be sold and used to offset the cost of the new piece. Is that something you can do? We can drop off the rings first thing tomorrow. And now you have something that is truly special. All we ask is you let us tell her about the significance."

"That should work. Marty's right. The cost would be about $2,000 more than his target price. I'm sure your rings will bring it in under that and as long as it's close I'll agree that is the most it will cost you."

Deeks was speechless. He just stood there mouth open and Nell started giggling. She reached for her phone to take a picture. After snapping it she announced "this is the first time I have ever seen Shaggy speechless. I had to have this picture."

That relaxed everyone. Following were handshakes for the jeweler and hugs for all 3 women. Julia was sure she saw some moisture in Deeks eyes and as she hugged him she whispered "if she says no, I will spank her. Like you the ring is amazing. Thank you for including me."

Then his mom said "I have finally been able to do something nice for my boy. It seems poetic that that ass of a former husband could end up doing something good. It will serve as a reminder to you both that you are better than that. I'm glad you let me be part of this."

Nell simply said "well played Shaggy, well played." They both understood what she meant. It was from a case shortly after Kensi returned from Afghanistan.

"Wow" he finally squeaked out. "I truly appreciate your help-all of you. Mom, what you and Julia just did is something I will never forget. Kensi will be floored with both the gesture and the significance of what you have done." Then he wiped his eyes quickly as he feigned pushing his hair out of his eyes and adding "ok were good to go then. When can it be ready?"

"10 days at the latest. It depends on what the ladies rings look like and how they are set."

"That works. Nell we can now finalize everything as we discussed and the date is good for the people we need to help prep. If you need, I'll give you my credit card or you can pay for the pieces that we are renting or purchasing and I'll write you a check. That work?"

"We'll see. Maybe I want this to be the engagement present from Eric and me. I'll let you know when we have everything and see what the total is."

Deeks and the other 2 ladies just looked at Nell. Deeks finally gave her a big grin and a hug and said thank you Nell and be sure to thank Eric also. The jeweler thought _wow, this couple must be special people to be getting all this help. There has to be a great story there. Wonder if Nell will tell me?_

The time couldn't go fast enough for anyone and they were all pretty sure Kensi had no clue. A nagging feeling about a proposal maybe, but not the rest. The 'ring committee' was really wondering about her reaction when she heard about the history of the ring.

 **Ok, here we go, the proposal and everything around it. All will be revealed? By the way so you know dancing to 'Help Me Rhonda" at a daughter's wedding is a true story. I hooked my daughter on the Beach Boys and that was her song of choice. She kept telling me it was going to happen and I didn't believe her. She remains a smart ass to this day!**


	7. Chapter 7

**It's the point of no return-here we go-but we have to clear up something first. One more chapter**

That Friday came and they were lucky so far. 2 pm and no cases. Hetty came in and announced "it's been a long week. If nothing comes down in the next hour-go home and enjoy." Deeks was dancin' on the inside. The jeweler had told him the cost would be under his $9500 limit due to the value and usage of the stones and bands their moms had provided so no kidneys were required, causing a chuckle from Deeks.

They all smiled and said a prayer for a quiet hour when Deeks spoke up "Kensilina, my love, how about dinner at our favorite little beach shack and a stroll on the beach. Monty is welcome there so what say?"

"Sounds great. Haven't been there in a while and they have great burgers! The walk on the beach sounds even better."

They thought they'd lucked out but Granger came in and said "agents- -and detective- -the staff has been sent home but director Vance is coming on in OPS and wants us all there." They all looked at each other and shrugged. Luckily all Vance wanted was to thank them for their efforts on a case that week and to let them know the family had made a very nice donation to the Marine Corps. Children's Fund in the team's names. As happy as they were, they would have preferred to leave.

Finally about 4 they had all paperwork sorted, filed, or packed to take with them and were ready to head out. What Kensi didn't know is they were just about the only 4 left in the building.

She and Deeks shared small talk on the way home and, after changing into shorts and flip-flops they headed out with Monty bouncing along in front of them. He knew where they were going and that he always got a few "goodies" from the staff and cooks as he laid in the shade outside the building. Finally they were done, the bill settled and they headed out. So far nothing serious just small talk and the usual banter. As they walked the beach Deeks finally said "Kens, I need to tell you something. It has been bothering me ever since our discussion about kids and marriage." She could see he was almost petrified about something.

"Deeks, relax, I got it. It just popped into my head. Nothing big. Ok?"

"Yea, well the problem is it's big to me. How I reacted and the subjects. I want to clarify and explain somethings so please listen. I will try to keep this short and understandable ok?"

"You bet Shaggy. No worries here." _Is this it. He said the beach at sunset_

"Great, here goes." After a deep breath he continued "I messed up. I heard baby and thought you were telling me you were pregnant and my mind went a million different directions. Here is my hopefully, understandable, response. First, yes, a bigger house-room for mom a baby and even an office or room for a gun safe, place for our books or even a second baby. I would like it close to the beach and a fenced yard. Monty is getting to the point where waiting all day may not work anymore. We need to have a rough plan, not a time line but a plan like first the new house-couple more bedrooms-mom and maybe a baby and a fence yard for Monty. Then we plan out from there as to the things we want someday-when the time is right for each one then we make the move-kids everything. My fear was that you would never know if I was marrying you because you were pregnant or because I really wanted to. Does that make sense?" As he finished Kensi didn't notice they had arrived at a little cove they liked to visit and just watch the tide and the waves at sunset. She always thought this was the place Marty was the most relaxed. They sat in the sand and just watched the sunset and didn't say a lot. There was hardly ever anyone there and this was no exception- -she thought.

As Monty went tearing off to explore the nooks and crannies she offered "we're good- -really- -I did pull that one out of left field and I like the idea of a plan, house, kids, one of us getting out of the shooting side of the business, the whole bit. We haven't really planned past dinner so we need to think about our future not react to it. And no- -I don't have to be the one playing agent. My background in criminology would allow me to move to the CSI side of the office. It would kill me not to back you up but it makes the most sense and I'm bettin' we'll wanta be sure someone goes home every day to care for Marty Jr.. You would go crazy as a lawyer or an agent without me as a partner so let's make a pact that we start working on that plan soon ok?"

Getting a nod, she looked at him but he had stopped behind her. What she didn't know what Eric was lurking behind a rock. He was dressed in black, had black grease paint on and a video camera and pick up mike. He was streaming everything since they came into sight. Monty ended up near him and he coaxed him over and got him ready. Marty had had stopped behind her and as she turned, the sunset behind him, he was on one knee. "The first step in that plan is to make sure it's the 2 of us together for ever so Kensi Marie Blye-I have loved you since you walked into that MMA gym 6 or so years ago. We have been up down and sideways, separated and together, survived 3rd hearts, Siderov and Afghanistan and thru it all we've been together and now we are all in. Now I want it to be official and forever. Kensi, will you marry me?"

She stood there eyes as big as saucers and said "I still don't see a ring."

Deeks called out "Monty heel". Monty came trotting over and stood beside his master. Around his neck was a ribbon and at the bottom of that ribbon was a black velvet box. Deeks carefully removed it and took out the ring showing it to her. "This is my promise of forever, for happiness and for a heck of a ride wherever it takes us and for a plan to get there."

Now she had tears as she looked at the ring and literally screamed "you damn betcha Martin Deeks. I am not letting you get away. Yes and for ever and ever yes, yes, yes." Then she drug him to a standing position and planted some major heat in the form of a kiss on his lips. "Let's go home" was the next thing out of her mouth.

 **And there it is-what do you think of everything? We have yet to know what else is going on that Marty has cooked up. Let me hear about it and we have one more chapter to fill in the loose ends!**


	8. Chapter 8

**The wrap up-and to the guest who asked about Eddie the Tree, no I can't they are gone. I don't keep copies of my stories. Also, you know that I can't respond directly to guests right?**

 **"** Sorry Princess, we have a party to go to. Follow me. Monty-come." As they drove Kensi just kept looking at the ring. Finally he couldn't stand it and said "there is a great story behind that ring but I promised someone else they could tell it. Part of it is how the wedding band will fit with it. Not gonna let you see it but it will be described. They got home and then he said "the limo is waiting, no driving for either of us tonight- -it's party time." Besides they had to give Eric time to get to the location.

45 minutes later the limo pulled up at the MMA gym where they first met. Kensi immediately noticed where they were and the 2 buses-one a large passenger bus and the other looked a lot like a tour bus but the way and place it was parked prevented her from seeing what it said on the side. One had the look of a tour bus and the other a very large passenger bus. "Oh my God, you didn't."

With a huge grin he responded "the evening has just begun."

"What have you got up your sleeve Deeks? You know I am not a fan of surprises."

"Some can be worth it. Nothing bad is gonna happen, just relax and go with it- -future wife." And a grin big enough to hold a banana sideways appeared on his face then he just muttered "wow I like that thought" as he opened the door for her. Monty tore off ahead of them. _Someone is in there_ was all Kensi could think before he ushered her in. And then all hell broke loose. All their friends were their cheering and screaming. Barb and Julia came up to Kensi and walked her away. The plan was for them to tell her everything-the ring, its history and how everyone came to be there. As they moved off to the side, Deeks went another direction and jumped up on the stage.

"Ok, everyone settle down. Tonight is gonna be just a fun night. As you know she said yes and I am delirious." (to which Sam yelled out what's new?) and Deeks just smiled going on "before we get the party really rolling Director Vance has something to say."

Leon took the stage and began "Detective Deeks talked to me about a month ago and asked that he be allowed to propose to agent Blye. It was both seeking permission and to insure they could remain as partners after she said yes. And for the record, you will take a drug test Monday Agent Blye!" That brought a huge round of laughter before Leon calmed then down and went on "I agreed. The whys are not important. I explained them to Marty and that's all that matters. I had one condition and now it's time to finalize that condition. Will Lt. Bates please join me up here?" Shortly the Lt. arrived and stood beside Leon. He did not look happy as he knew what was happening. Marty had told him everything. He was a friend and supporter and deserved to know up front. "Kensi please join us." After she made her way to the stage, standing beside Deeks, Vance went on "I believe you have something to say detective."

"Thank you Director Vance. Lt. Bates, thru everything you have been behind me. You took a chance on a young cop and made him a great detective. I owe you everything but it is time to move on. I feel I can make a difference at a higher level so I hereby tender my resignation from LAPD with regrets but knowing that you have trained me well."

After Bates shook Deeks hand he said "I could talk all night about Marty, some of it even good (that got a chuckle from the crowd and a smile from Deeks) but I have watched Marty grow with NCIS, with Kensi and have seen the good work he has done. He has found a home here and he belongs with you. Detective I accept your resignation with great sorrow but also knowing that you are doing the right thing." Then he gave Marty a hug, had a short, private conversation with him and walked off the stage.

At that point Leon produced a bible and handed it to Kensi. Then "saying Martin Andrew Deeks please raise your right hand, place your left on the bible and repeat after me." After giving him the NCIS oath Vance turned to the crowd and went on "the agreement is that if agent Deeks became an agent I would allow him and his current partner to remain partners as long as I am around. Hetty will advise them of any conditions she wishes them to adhere to. Now let's have some fun. I understand Chopping Wood is performing?" Deeks swallowed his teeth at that remark and Kensi just stood there. She was in shock at what had just happened as well as the director's comment.

As Vance stepped down Deeks walked to the mike and said "thanks to everyone for being here and for making this a happy night for both of us. I trust Nell and our moms to fill Kensi in on everything that went into this and for everyone's help and participation. This is obviously a day I could never dream of. Growing up I just wanted to wake up in the morning and know I was still alive and now I don't want to sleep as it is time I can't spend with the most amazing woman I have ever met. I am still in shock that she said yes but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I also have to say a special thank you to Hetty, Ganger and Director Vance for their kind words and support in pulling this off. And to Nell and Eric, I owe you big time. The wonder twins put all this together and Kensi had no clue. Now it's time to party. To kick it off I promised myself a long time ago after a little confrontation with Kensi that I would someday sing for her. So here it is." He walked over and picked up an electric guitar and, after making sure it was on and tuned he stepped back to the mike and went on "this will also serve to introduce the music for tonight. Kip set this up so I'm hopin' they are back there 'cause we have been known to punk each other. Now let's get this done." He then stepped back and played the intro rift to 'God Only Knows' by the Beach Boys. Looking at Kensi she understood his meaning perfectly and then she literally started screaming as walking out on stage was Mike Love followed by the rest of the Beach Boys. They all grabbed their instruments as Mike joined Marty at the Mike and sang back up for him. This brought the house down. When they were finished Marty announced "that was a little bit of how I feel but now this is for pure fun and then I'm done. I think someone is gonna like it." At that point the band broke into the intro to 'Help Me Rhonda' as Deeks beamed. This time he helped the group by singing back up until Kensi jumped on stage and grabbed him and started to dance. To everyone's amazement Deeks was a great dancer.

Sam looked at G and simply said "should have known. That man continues to amaze us and now he is an agent."

After the song Kensi stepped to the mike. "Mom and Barb have told me the whole story about putting tonight together. I thank each and every one of you for that and for your trust and faith in Marty and I. I especially thank Nell and Eric and Kip. I'm not gonna ask how you 2 knew my favorite group was these guys behind me. This is amazing. But most of all, thank you to the man who amazes me every day with his patience, knowledge and courage. He has given me renewed faith and I have given him my heart and I know it is in good hands. Becoming an agent almost brought tears to my eyes cause I never thought he would. We all worried about him going back to LAPD and getting killed but now that won't happen. Finally Lt. Bates, I know you are losing a great cop but thank you for all you've done for him and letting him work with us these last years. Now-please-it's party time let's have some fun. Oh and the thank you whoever thought of the bus so we don't have to worry about you all getting home. Again thanks all." And party they did. The 'slightly dysfunctional family had no problem partying as one big family.

The last thing Kensi remembered was Michelle Hanna saying "that man saved me and my family. Take care of him he is special to us Kensi even if Sam will forever deny it."

Kensi spent a lot of time looking at her ring. The story behind it and the meaning of everything was mind boggling.

 **Fade to back and cue the fat lady. Hope you enjoyed it. Fill the little square with your comments.**


End file.
